The last time I sat down to write, I was pregnant, so.. it’s been… a while.

I’ve had another baby… well, she, Taya, is almost two and half and she is a wild, joyful tornado! If you can put all those words together!?

We have led a Church through a pandemic, WHAT. A. JOURNEY. 

I started back in the workplace.

…and I’ve still been a mum to a child with a disability (can you believe Piper is seven?) and I am learning that disability isn’t a bad word. 

I’m still learning…

And I’m still standing.

But the one thing I have held onto through all of this… is peace. Peace that is the ruler of my heart.

And it brought me to here… penning these words in pursuit of peace.

Pursue is to continue along or follow and chase something.

Peace isn’t a destination, it’s continual. 

And I find myself fighting for peace on the daily. 

Now I am not talking about a worldly peace, but a Godly peace. 

The worldly peace is fleeting. 

People may find it in the likes they get on social media. They find peace in how other people treat them. In the accolades they achieve and in places they go, that peace is fleeting, a brief passing moment, then turmoil finds them again. 

The bible talks about peace like this…

“Search for peace, and work to maintain it.”
 – Psalm 34:14 NLT

‘Seek peace and pursue it.’
– Psalm 34:14 ESV

‘…and make “peace” your life motto. Practice being at peace.’
– Psalm 34:14 TPT

Peace is not measured on an outcome.

Only yesterday, I found myself triggered by Piper’s 10 minute meltdown in the morning before school, AGAIN. I was overwhelmed, we couldn’t calm her down.

Peace was not in my heart, it was distressed, defeated. 

After she left for school, so upset, I felt down and dejected.

Her life struggle, it feels unfair sometimes.

Yet I found myself battling for this peace that I know exists. The tug of disappointment and feeling like a failure, but also this tug of beauty and love that the holy spirit sits aside in me.

And I had to choose. And I had to fight to choose the peace God was giving me.

And I enjoyed spending the day with my little Taya. 

And then evening came, and here we were again with an even longer meltdown. 

I didn’t get the outcome I desperately wanted, yet I kept choosing peace.

It takes practice.

I have had to practice it countless times when we are at hospital, with specialists, out and about, in the things Piper says, in grieving moments, in despair, in therapy, in the everyday mundane things.

…and I’m still practicing!!

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”
– Romans 15:13

We have peace when we trust God.

Trusting in God gives us Joy.

Joy, which is a focus before a feeling.

Peace, which gives you hope. 

Hope which is the ability to know you can keep going.

What peace are you pursuing?

I pray God’s peace rules in your heart today.

You can do this!

Leigh x