This man oozes strength and confidence. I’m forever thankful and grateful for this guy. I get to call him my husband, I get to love him, share our life together but most of all I get to call him Piper’s dad. The most important role in her life. I know he’s been struggling a little bit lately, and that’s okay. This is part of our journey and we keep trusting God, every step of the way.

I knew when Josh was going to become a Dad he was going to be amazing. He was the anchor during my birth and he was the encourager during those first few days. He was just so in love with her and it was all over his face. He would stand in the doorway holding her just so he could show her off to anyone that walked past. He was first in to change her nappies (I wasn’t complaining), help to assist me with my milk and breastfeeding and he stayed with me every night.

When day 3 came and Piper was transferred to NICU, he stepped up in ways that not many men would. He stayed by Piper’s bedside all night on that first night. He didn’t leave her side (until he was told to leave but that’s another story). He was completely smitten. He reassured me when Piper wasn’t okay. He held me as we felt the pain of each diagnosis, each test, each fear and each tear. He would be braver than I and stay with Piper while they took blood. He would hold her hand and not leave her side. Most times he sleeps by her bed when she’s admitted to hospital so I can go and have sleep. He’s selfless, caring, brave, strong, loving, courageous, a mighty believer, his faith is admirable and he is just an amazing man.

He would be at the front of centre of all the medical appointments. He would be the one to insert the NG tube. Every time. He gives me confidence at being a mum. Everything he has done has been out of the pure love he has for his daughter. I love their bond. I love the way he always tells her she’s beautiful and that he loves her. He adores her.

We have endured an awful lot the past 20months with Piper. We have suffered immense pain, grief, heartache and it’s often still ongoing. We are on a constant journey. With one victory comes another failure, with one triumph comes a setback but throughout it all Piper has brought us immeasurable joy. I often think Dad’s in general aren’t given enough recognition for the role they play, and Piper’s dad is something unique and we are so lucky.

Being a special needs parent is truly tough. It has put a lot of pressure on our marriage and we have certainly had to work hard. It’s really not easy. This is not for everyone but what I have observed as being a special needs dad is:

They suffer silently. These dads are productive and they find their daily dose of happy, but that doesn’t mean they don’t carry heartbreak around. They had an expectation of being a dad that turned out differently.  I feel the heaviness in his heart when we talk about the future and all of his fears.

Special needs dads struggle with being the protector. Josh is definitely the protector of our family, but something dads cannot always successfully do — protect their families from harm. There are too many physical forces beyond their control. No matter how many precautions they take, how physically present they are, how hard they work to support their family, even how hard they try, special needs dads will see their child and their family experience pain, over and over and over again.

Special needs dads are strong. Our family life can sometimes be lonely and although we steal our moments together, much of our marriage is about what first is best for the health of Piper. Special needs dads choose to put their family first and are strong about doing what needs to be done. This is the strength that fuels their dedication. Maybe not all special needs dads started out this way, but there is little room for selfishness with such strength.  “Your as tough as nails but with a tender heart”

Special needs dads are vulnerable. and this is okay. You can be strong and vulnerable at the same time. It’s okay to let yourself be vulnerable so you can allow yourself to be emotional. Sometimes a good cry will make you feel a little better.

I love you Josh. You are doing an incredible job, I am so proud of you and we are so lucky to have you and I want the world to know just really how amazing you are.

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
– John 14:27