I Wrote a Book
It’s still a foreign thought to me, that I actually wrote a book. I only told two people because I didn’t want to declare something, and like everything in my life, never stick at it for a long time.
I’m honestly not sure how I completed this book, in between caring for Piper, being a wife and working in ministry, other than God’s beautiful grace that covered me and the words he was able to help me write.
When I started blogging in 2016, I did it for the benefit of writing my feelings and thoughts out. It became a healing process. I soon learnt how my story of honesty and pain would encourage others on their journey and I just started writing a book, not knowing what it would look like, what it would include and if I would ever share it.
At times, it was extremely hard to write, it was like I was re-living moments and a pain I would rather forget about. It did bring perspective though. Wow, I actually made it through that time in my life and I stand now so much stronger.
To me, this book isn’t about how many copies I sell. It’s about my faith journey and my heart to help people find joy, in the midst of their unknowns and pain. It was about sharing things that I haven’t really talked about that maybe people could relate to. Could somebody understand to some degree, the pain that my journey entails, but also see the joy that is also experienced, and apply that to their own circumstances?
After I posted about my book for the first time, I felt physically sick and sweaty for almost two hours. I instantly regretted it. While I had such a positive response, I felt sick at the thought that people might want to read about me and my journey, and that people will actually read about some vulnerable and painful times in my life.
It’s the moment that the doubt creeps in. What if people are hurt? What if people still don’t get it? What if I am judged? What if people dislike it? I’m not good enough to write a book… and the list went on… but it’s my truth and my journey and I own it with faith, and honesty and I know if it can bring hope, in even one person’s life, then it was worth all the struggle of writing it.
There were weeks on end of silence, staring at the empty screen not able to go to those painful places but once I was able to start, it was like my fingers were just tapping away not knowing the words that were going to be typed out.
The deepest desire in my heart, is for people to know Jesus. There is hope in this broken world, hope in our dwindling finances, hope in our suffering, hope for our marriages, hope for our families, hope for our children’s future, there is hope to keep fighting, hope to keep faith, even with what the world tells us.
I learnt so much about myself writing this book. I learnt more about God and I accepted the fact that this was placed on my heart for a reason and I’m expectant that whoever chooses to read it, really will have hope by the end of it.
I know life can suck, and we often find ourselves in circumstances out of our control, in a life we wouldn’t have chosen for ourselves but I know, that I know, there is purpose in our pain, there is joy to be found, there is peace to be found and there is hope we can choose!
Hope Trafficker Book
Last year I set the goal to finish writing my book, so here it is! I’m so excited to share this with the world. I never considered myself a writer, but after I started blogging and God put on my heart to write about my unexpected journey of deep pain and taught me that that hope can be found. Hope in us stirs hope in others. My prayer is that after you have read my book, you will be encouraged on your own journey, that you would carry hope and be a HOPE TRAFFICKER.